Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Randomize
