I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
