The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
