Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
