Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
