i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
