I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
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What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
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I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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