In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
whose parrot is this?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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