I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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