I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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