I'll bet she douches with gravy.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
