No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
