Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
