i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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