Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
