how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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