Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
