if i died would you start the facebook group?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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