You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
