Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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