I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
