Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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