i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
