Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
