Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
