the new term for farting is butt boxing.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
