but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
