did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
