I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
