People in love make me want to vomit
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
