at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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