i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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