dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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