I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
