all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
