More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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