weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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