So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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