well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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