So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
