you have to choose: penises or morals?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
