Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Pants are for mortals
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
