Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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