when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
