I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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