Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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