Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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