She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
