Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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