Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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