How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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