Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you would pick up someone in the library
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize