I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
