Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
