i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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