i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize