I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
