Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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