I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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