Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I need a burrito and a hug.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
