never play flip cup with pint glasses
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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